I think I have for as long as I can remember, but it’s only been in recent years that I’ve come to understand and accept this.
Last Friday I became displaced in time. It used to scare me, when I didn’t understand it. It’s a strange feeling: being in a place, in a time, and yet not quite of it. A part of my future self was existing in the past. This was due to an unknown future event; an event of such magnitude [in my life] that it sent shock waves to the past. Time rippled, and threw me off a bit.
This has happened before: I think I used to call it a shift. My future self and my present self would overlap in an unnatural way, and I thought it was just a strong shift in my personhood: like when you’re suddenly aware you’re becoming a different person. It is that and it isn’t. I guess nothing is simply put, and you can’t really make Time Travel less complex.
I keep experiencing these ripples. Today’s is not as strong as Friday’s (as it goes with ripples: as they expand they become less intense), but it’s exciting knowing that something is coming. Exciting and scary and curious. Time is strange like that.
I have really bad anxiety -have for a long time- and sometimes my really intense anxiety attacks manifest like seizures. I was tested for epilepsy in 2005 with negative results, and the episode I had at the end of January was the worst I’d had in a few years. So it goes that I’m going to be tested again in about a month.
The test is called an “ambulatory EEG” and is 48 hours long. What does that mean? Well, I go to the hospital on a Sunday afternoon (when I usually work), they put electrodes on my head, and send me home. Then I return two days later to get them taken off.
This is obviously a serious and kind of scary situation to be in, but dammit, Imma make the best of it, bros. During those two days I’ll be recording and blogging my experience, hopefully culminating in a hilarious video of me being even weirder than usual (that’s pretty weird, you guys). On the phone they told me to show up with a hat or scarf, in order to cover the electrodes on my head. Instead, I’m going to dress like a robot.